Saturday Current Doings | IV

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Hi! Finally! I am able to access my own blog after a long time…ish.(Well, not quite long) School’s about to start this Monday so I just feel like getting my fingertips to work a bit before I hit the sheets. Just to let you guys know, we are on to the last week of July! Days pass by so fast like I am totally unconscious about everything. Lol

CURRENTLY 

Reading—

tweets from the people who’s going to the . BTS is here. Jungkook is freaking here and we’re breathing the same polluted air! I am so inggit!!

Writing—

nothing, sadly. This is the only the time I get to use my laptop again—for writing and I don’t think I’d be able to compose an entry about how my life has been doing lately or my thoughts about some things. If I get a chance to catch up on things, I will try to compose some blog posts. I am so not ready for school yet.I do really miss writing! And it’s sad that I am not doing it as often as I used to before.

Listening—

to Everything by Michael Bublè. One of my faves!

Thinking—

what’s going to happen today. But I think it’ll be just the usual stuff, television, laptop and phone and sleep, I guess.

Craving—

ramen. I don’t know why I’m into ramen so much and the weather’s not accurate for me to eat ramen but I am still craving! Ugghhh

Feeling

happy! Kebs lang in life! It’s so nice to be happy sha la la la~

Wearing—

a plain orange v-neck shirt and blue shorts. The usual get-ups at home.

Hoping

days to pass by slowly. I still can’t accept the fact that school’s on Monday and I literally don’t know anything anymore. Lol, that explanation was OA. Ha-ha!

Loving—

Rupi Kaur’s Milk and Honey! ! I saw some parts of the book and I am totally in love with it! Will buy the book if I get to see it on NBS or other bookstores.

Needing—

a lot of sleep. Lalo’t magpapasukan na. I’m still sleepy  right now. Puyat pa more!!

Wishing—

for a pleasant day. Positivity everybody, that’s what we need.

Wanting—

to write more and read more. There are plenty of things I need to catch up on!

 

 So that’s it! I just really wanted to write and update my blog.  I wish to have more time to write new stuff. My fingers are always itching to write! Oh di ba, sobrang busy lang ng lola nyo! Haha! Anyway, happy happy lang! Positivity all the way!

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Au revoir

I can never forget
The first time you looked at me,
Overwhelming as it seems
Yet, it feels new;
How surreal it is
 every time I was with you.

Butterflies, butterflies
It was the most exciting feeling 
you have given me;
You gave me the love
But not much more than I think I deserve.

But then, it was the timing
that felt wrong
We are meant to spend good time together;
That is everything we had that
felt so right.

You left me
without having the courage of saying goodbye
I never really asked you to stay
Because I thought you would never leave
And the mere fact
of you being out of my life
hurts so much.

"Is this love I am feeling?"
I always ask myself.
But it feels like
I am not there yet;
I feel like
it is just in the mind
and not in the heart–
you are invading.

The thought convinced me;
I may not be
really in love with you yet.
We're too young;
Too young to know what love is;
Too immature to explain such things.

And I know that
It was just a fleeting feeling.
We still have a lot to learn;
And the world has a lot to offer.
Until then
think both ways;
Life isn't always the way it should be.
It'll take some time to get over you,
But we'll probably meet our other half.

Til next, goodbye.

 

Seventeenth!

Appreciation post to those who greeted me on my special day. I’ve been waiting for this day to come because I, myself believe that birthdays are the most exciting and fun part of your life. But seriously, maybe that’s just how life goes on with me. Anyways, I am officially  seventeen! Should I be happy about that or not? Lol, kidding!

Many people don’t want to spend their birthday because they don’t want their age to increase. Well for me, birthdays are for life! I mean, you can’t change the fact that you’ll grow up, right? So why not celebrate it instead of minding what your age is? I’m not being cocky or whatnot. Just bringing up my own opinion. No hate.

So here’s how it goes…

May 14, 2016, Me and one of my bestfriends (s/o to Nicole! Thanks for the ice cream cake. Lol) together with two of my cousins, Eren and Sydney, had a post birthday celebration for my birthday. Maybe, something like that. Hahahahaha! It was an unplanned girls out and it should be just me and Nicole, but for some reason, it’ll be lonesome if it’s just the two of us so we invited my cousins to join us. It was an epic and fun day! It was the first time I got to spend the day with Nicole. And, it was one of the most special days of my life. We went to Timezone and took many photos in the photo booth. Nicole bought me some ice cream cake as her birthday gift for me, hihi. It was an all day laughing session with the girls. Starting from the time we went to the mall, the time we panicked because we thought the ice cream cake would melt, the time we seated on the escalator, the time we walked and walked until we found a pedestrian lane just because we wanted to take pictures. Fun, fun day!

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Swaeg! Lol

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Panira sa picture be like

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Bucketlist!

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The Beatles-ing, whuuuttt

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Love this girl so much. Hihi!

May 15, 2016, actual birthday. I was overwhelmed by the greetings of the people I love. Just the thought of many people singing happy birthday to you will make you feel  glad but I never thought that would happen to me. But, it was just this morning where half of the locale of San Agustin sang for me. I don’t know why I got emotional, maybe because that’s the first time that a large group of people sang for me on my special day. It meant a lot, to be honest.

 All in all, this is the best birthday so far. I wish this day wouldn’t end but oh well, things must come into their proper places. I was the happiest girl on earth! Lol. I thanked those people who became a part of my birthday and to those who greeted me via text message, chat and actual. Those long messages that you guys actually composed just to make me feel extra happy this day. I am so overwhelmed right now, like, seriously speaking.

And to those people whom I was waiting for to greet me, (but didn’t), all I can say is, thank you for making me realize how pathetic I am to wait for y’all for reminding me how unlucky you are that I was born in this world, I am not forcing you to greet me but just the actual fact that you forgot what the day is makes me feel “i don’t know” about you. God bless and I hope y’all are doing fine.

Anyways, I am now contented, I couldn’t ask for more. Positivity all the way!

Happy 17th, self!

What I’ve Learned About Life So Far

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            I’ve had some incredible life experiences and a worst one, actually. A 16-year-old girl with weird habits and such beliefs thinks that she have learned many things about life despite her young age. I’ve experienced different scenarios. If it’s up and down you say? A roller coaster ride? Well, that’s a big check on the list! It’s been a pretty wild ride! Scrolling some blog ideas, I thought I’d share things I’ve learned over my 16 years:

  • No one is perfect.

We all know that but we cannot change the fact that too many people wants to be perfect and consider themselves as one. No matter how great or enlightened people are, they’re still human. Always try to accept things that are much more worthy than complaining.

  • Always be positive! 

Though I don’t really think that the phrase is quite effective for me. I am much like an optimist-pessimist kind of person where  in different situations, I am both positive and negative. Well, It’s kind of hard to explain. We all know that life isn’t that easy but as much as possible, try to be positive and not worry things too much. Always remember that we’ll get through!

  • Karma is real. 

This is kind of awkward but this is true base on my experiences.  I’ve seen it happen way too often personally and for friends. If you give more, you’ll get more.

  • Try and try until you reach the goal!

Better not give up on anything unless there’s no reason for you to do it. But like ‘some people’ say “There’s always a reason for trying.”  Always always always do what you have to do and get high hopes! You’ll never know, it’ll all be worthy in the end.

  • No one knows yourself better than you.

I’ve learned that you don’t have to be someone just to be liked by others, unless you want to, you know the bad and good things in you and obviously,you’re the only one who’ll accept your flaws in the first place. Some people told me things that were flat out wrong, while others told me things that made sense. It was up to me to choose who and what to listen to and decide what course of action to take.

  • Gratitude is the key to someone’s happiness.

Always be grateful for what you have; no matter how bad things seem, there’s always someone who has it worse. Remember that “Gratitude is an attitude!”.

  • Don’t be afraid to try new things.

Back then, I always stick on the things I have and it’s kind of boring. Always be ready for adventures and as all my friends always say, “Wag kang KJ!” or kill joy to make it specific. Hahahaha! Don’t be afraid to explore things in this world even though it’ll change ‘other’ beliefs that you have in life.

  • Working hard doesn’t always mean working smart.

Just because you’re working tons of hours a day doesn’t mean you’re being efficient with your time. You still have to work hard to succeed, but if you’re not also organized and efficient, you’re just wasting time.

  • Don’t ever let little things get to you.

Do not ever be mad about something tiny and senseless issue. Don’t fight over someone just because of the things they have that you don’t own. You might win the fight, but you lose the battle. Don’t sweat the small stuff because little things don’t matter. Though I still get mad whenever there’s no food in the house. Lol

  • God always listens.

Whether it’s a small thing you’re asking, he’ll give it to you. Just always always and always believe that he can do it and as much as possible, try do not doubt him in any way possible because that’s just a silent scream that you don’t believe in him. Always pray and have faith, it’ll get better.

          And so, do not underestimate  a person about her life learnings just because she’s 16 years old. Lol, just kidding.

I’ll be having my Summer class/OJT next week so I think I’m not gonna be able to do blog posts because I’m gonna be very very busy. Hashtag summer is not real. Happy Saturday bruhs! :*

Why Blog?

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           So, I’ve been busy the whole month (up until now) because of some requirements like projects, programs, research papers and such stress. Okaaay. Now that the second semester’s about to end (finally!) and I am not so sure that I’m gonna get through my first year, how pessimistic. So I am hopefully and hysterically praying that I’ll pass this one. And these past few weeks, I had no sleep, literally, I feel like the 8-hour sleep I had the other day wasn’t enough to catch up on the sleep I missed last week! Ganern.

I’m trying to be productive today as much as I could that’s why I am trying to make blog posts that is worth-reading. So, here you go!

           “Why blog?”—a phrase almost everyone ask me. So, I’ve decided to compose this one to tell you guys why I love blogging and why I have a blog. To tell you frankly, I already have a blog before this and unfortunately, I forgot the password so here it is! Anyways, when I made a blog, I don’t really liked it because for some reason, I find it totally boring. But like I’ve said on facebook (LOL) “People change” physically and mentally, I guess? We change decisions, we change our liking and other random stuffs. I think it’s a human nature like, whether you like it or not, your perspective changes base on what your mind tells you.

     Sooo, these are just my opinions on why you should blog. I am not trash-talking anyone’s opinion but these are my own reasons and I don’t really know if you’ll be satisfied but here it is.

There are three reasons why:

1. Expressing

          — we all know that writing’s one of the hobbies of a human being, or just for me? Ever since we had some “giving letters” portion in school, I started making those even though it’s not a requirement. I write letters to my friends every special occasion whether it’s their birthday or whatsoever, I give them letters because I think it is “more appreciative”. My friends always appreciate my letters naman but, they also ask for something like a material-kind of gift and they always remind me how kuripot I am. “Sa birthday mo, letter na lang din ibibigay namin sa’yo ha!”—how harsh right? Hahaha! Okay, so some people are called ‘introverts’ , let us first define what that word means.

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    As said there above, an introvert is mostly shy—but kind of different. What I’m saying is, a blog helps you show people what you really feel that you cannot express on the outside world. I, consider myself as an introvert. I do not typically show my feelings or expressions on a person that I just met, it takes a lot of time and trust to make me feel comfortable towards a person. And so,my blog helped me say the words I’ve wanted to say and probably makes me feel satisfied all the time.

2. Boredom!

         —usually, people kill their time by just staring nowhere or sleeping and whatsoever. As for me, I waste my time on creating blog posts. Yey! Isn’t that fun?! Easy for you to say.  Well, yes. You should try it sometimes, I say. Okay, so I’m not blaming you if you think that a blog is not a perfect way to “kill time” because I myself too had a thought of that one. But who am I kidding now? I liked it and as much as possible, I use it to waste my time. T’was all worthy alright!

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3. Documentation

              —blogging is an awesome and fun way to document your life. This is one of the reasons why I love to blog. And usually, I do blog posts about my life. Well, what else is there to write about? I blog about how my life’s going, my whereabouts and such.It is actually nice, sharing your experiences in life; it’s nice to share with others what you’ve gone through and what you’ve learned and noticed from a certain experience. I admit. My life is boring. But there are times where my life becomes fun and colorful like spending a week or day with my family or friends. Also, it is a great and productive way to record the experiences (through writing and posting photos) that we can look back on to reminisce.

         One more thing, blogging is also a learning experience; you learn how to write, you learn how to express yourself in so many ways you wouldn’t know you could do. And most importantly, you get to know yourself more through your own writings—and I think, that is what blogging is all about.

To sum it all up, a blog is a place where you can say something and be yourself.

So, why not try? :)

Issues

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Do you ever feel a time when you suddenly don’t want to be with your friends? Well, it’s not that you want to be alone or something but there’ll be the time like you’ll not be in the mood to be with them. You’re not comfortable around them kind of thing.

Unfortunately, I get to feel it most of the time and I totally hate it. Sometimes, I’ll just sit on a corner and just be quiet and I’ll be the one who’ll put myself into a bad mood. To the point where everyone pisses me off easily like I’d just stare at them with my most calm face that would irritate them. I’m that bad.

Okay. One reason? Attitude. So, I do accept the fact that I am a bipolar and the meanest person alive and I had to admit that I have the worst attitude a person might have (Well, was that too harsh? Yes, yes.) I get annoyed easily and it’ll maybe activate my maldita-mode so I distance myself to my friends. You know, I have my “bitch side” at times and also my “angel side”. I always try to deal with my bad mood though I find it very hard because I don’t want to harm the people around me especially my friends in any way. I don’t want to treat them like a totally useless or pity their self because of the things I say.

I could be tactless at times. Usually, that side comes out when I’m not in the mood. I don’t literally curse to people because I think it’s too rude and I also kind’a get hurt when someone says bad words to me but it’ll only take minutes depending on how the person said it. Sometimes, I lose control of myself; my temper gets into me so much.

Another matter is, I find it really awkward when you’re with your different set of friends. For example, you’re with your highschool and college friends AT THE SAME TIME and that was like super awkward! And I was like, “Hey guys,meet blah blah blah and meet blah blah blah!” kind of feeling. Okaaay guys? What are we going to talk about?! Totally don’t want to meet that scenario. I don’t know what I’ll say!

Okay. So there’s also a time when you feel like you’re out of place and you’d seriously be like “What the hell are you guys talking about?”. I would probably feel the hey-Im-here feeling. Am I a little too much? Sorryyy.

But hey, I love my friends. They bring out the craziness and weirdness in me. They’ve been true to me and there’s nothing I could ask for. I am one lucky human being, I say.

So alam niyo na how am I as a friend ha! Medyo brutal, ganon!

Anyways, to my friends.. I’m sorry. I know I never apologized personally for this attitude of mine but I thank you for bearing with it. Hope you guys understand. And to my bestfriendS bcos you’re so many (Lol, I don’t know who you all are. Kidding!) thank you for being there, well not always but still thank you and to those who are ignoring me and forgetting me and not updating me about their life status, hi there! I miss you weirdo!

P.S I had to brag about this.

Bitterlight Self

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.”
James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time

So, I’ve been thinking a lot of random things these past few weeks? I don’t know. But, there’s this one thing that seriously bothered me since (let’s not mention specific dates and days, ‘kay? ) up until now.  I don’t typically know why I am sharing this,well maybe because I have no one to tell this kind of stuff and I’m sure enough that my friends will get bored when I open up this kind of topic.

The “weird” thing that I am going to tell you is about a guy. Nope. Not like those ‘crush-y’ thingies and love whatnot that you are thinking.  If its not like those lovey-doveys, then what is it?  Well, that is kinda hard to explain. I guess, I’m still a little confused about this guy. But seriously speaking, the first thing I felt when I saw him, literally just ‘saw’ him, was hatred. I don’t really know. I don’t usually hate people.  Well, I hate ‘some’  human being that I know but atleast there’s a reason why I hate them right? And this guy is unfortunately kind of different. So, I’m not gonna mention his name here because it’s kinda privey. Hahahahaha! Wag na, baka magkagulo pa eh! Lol.

Aside from just seeing his face (that made me hate him. Peace!), there are those things with ‘s’ kasi madami talaga, like his innocent look “always”, his jawline (sorry), the way he talks and his accent “kuno” (totally irritates me), his hair which I think is like a broom (okay, now I’m too harsh), his ‘really too high’ confidence, his ‘pagpapakipot’ to the people around him.  But seriously, now that many days passed,  I hated him even more.

I didn’t like the feeling. I don’t like hating people just because of their looks or whatsoever about them. Pero, bat ganon? He totally irritates me! We’re not even close or better yet, we’re not even talking  pero ganto ko magsalita sa kanya. One time, I saw him looking at me, I stared back but then just rolled my eyes at him. I wonder if he noticed that? Nakakakilig? No. Didn’t feel that one coming. Oh, did I already said that he’s smart? Well, yes he is but nagiging ‘yabang’ lang sa paningin ko. I never thought that once you hate someone, you could possibly hate them even more. Nakakacurious lang. There are “some” people like me naman diba? Yung mahe-hate mo yung person pero wala naman siyang ginagawa sayo and you doesn’t even know him yet?  Hatred. Even I doesn’t like the feeling of being hated. Sino ba naman may gusto diba? Thinking about people who hates me made me curious about myself. I mean, what’s wrong with me? Why do they hate me too much? Is it my face chuchuchu? I never let ‘this guy’ know naman na I hate him. Why? Like I said, macucurious yung tao! 

I know what you’re thinking right now. Love? Eww. Kidding! Ang harsh ko na masyado kay koya! Hahahahaha. But telling you this kind of stuff made me feel better. Di ako nagpapapansin kaya ko pinost to! To tell you frankly, I always see his friends at the side of my eyes also looking at me and laughing, I don’t know what they’re laughing at, is it me? or other stuffs about me? Baka assuming ka lang teh! Paranoid ka lang friend, sus! Maybe. Maybe I’m not just paranoid that’s why I’m also starting to hate his friends. Well, not all. But, whenever I look at them, I always most of the time see them, like they’re laughing at me. Insecure lang? Yes I am. For the first time in my entire sweet and lovely life. I’m insecure. Because I don’t like people staring at me, laughing at me, kahit sino pa man dyan.

I do not believe in the saying that “The more you hate, the more you love.” I am beyond comparing myself to that kind of scenario. And didn’t even thought about that one and will never be. Saying all this stuff also made me feel like I’m a bad person. I don’t know. Kalurks! If it’s hate they say, I’m saying what I am thinking. Hope these days would just be normal. You know? Having no one to hate; for no apparent reason. I’ll get over my irritation. Well, it’ll maybe take a while.

“Negative emotions like hatred destroy our peace of mind.”

Yun.