Do you ever feel a time when you suddenly don’t want to be with your friends? Well, it’s not that you want to be alone or something but there’ll be the time like you’ll not be in the mood to be with them. You’re not comfortable around them kind of thing.
Unfortunately, I get to feel it most of the time and I totally hate it. Sometimes, I’ll just sit on a corner and just be quiet and I’ll be the one who’ll put myself into a bad mood. To the point where everyone pisses me off easily like I’d just stare at them with my most calm face that would irritate them. I’m that bad.
Okay. One reason? Attitude. So, I do accept the fact that I am a bipolar and the meanest person alive and I had to admit that I have the worst attitude a person might have (Well, was that too harsh? Yes, yes.) I get annoyed easily and it’ll maybe activate my maldita-mode so I distance myself to my friends. You know, I have my “bitch side” at times and also my “angel side”. I always try to deal with my bad mood though I find it very hard because I don’t want to harm the people around me especially my friends in any way. I don’t want to treat them like a totally useless or pity their self because of the things I say.
I could be tactless at times. Usually, that side comes out when I’m not in the mood. I don’t literally curse to people because I think it’s too rude and I also kind’a get hurt when someone says bad words to me but it’ll only take minutes depending on how the person said it. Sometimes, I lose control of myself; my temper gets into me so much.
Another matter is, I find it really awkward when you’re with your different set of friends. For example, you’re with your highschool and college friends AT THE SAME TIME and that was like super awkward! And I was like, “Hey guys,meet blah blah blah and meet blah blah blah!” kind of feeling. Okaaay guys? What are we going to talk about?! Totally don’t want to meet that scenario. I don’t know what I’ll say!
Okay. So there’s also a time when you feel like you’re out of place and you’d seriously be like “What the hell are you guys talking about?”. I would probably feel the hey-Im-here feeling. Am I a little too much? Sorryyy.
But hey, I love my friends. They bring out the craziness and weirdness in me. They’ve been true to me and there’s nothing I could ask for. I am one lucky human being, I say.
So alam niyo na how am I as a friend ha! Medyo brutal, ganon!
Anyways, to my friends.. I’m sorry. I know I never apologized personally for this attitude of mine but I thank you for bearing with it. Hope you guys understand. And to my bestfriendS bcos you’re so many (Lol, I don’t know who you all are. Kidding!) thank you for being there, well not always but still thank you and to those who are ignoring me and forgetting me and not updating me about their life status, hi there! I miss you weirdo!
P.S I had to brag about this.